Day 19: Cultivating community

..::*+ Small Talk +*::..
Alright, this time the post is simpler a bit and was shortened. Hope you can take some time to read.

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Day 19: Cultivating community

Community requires commitment. Holy Spirit can create real fellowship between believers, but first we have to make our choices and commitments. A loving Christian community requires God's power and our effort.

And we know God wants to create this Christian community, so thus the determinant depends on us alone. If you are tired of fake fellowship and want to have a real one, you need to make some tough choices and take some risks.

1. Cultivating community takes honesty. Care enough to lovingly speak the truth, rather than ignore it. Many fellowships have been sabotaged by fear - everyone keeps quiet while a member's life fell apart.

An honest answer
is like a kiss on the lips.
Proverbs 24:26

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.
Galatian 6:1

Speak out problems. Frankness is all what it is about.

Until you care enough to confront and resolve the underlying barriers, you will never grow close to each other.
Rick Warren - The Purpose Driven Life

After all, it was stated in Bible:

He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor
than he who has a flattening tongue.
Proverbs 28:23

Fellowships today are, however, destroyed by lack of honesty. Paul in Bible rebuked the Corinthians of their eyes-closed mentality in allowing immorality in their fellowship.

2. Cultivating community takes humility. It simply means no self-importance, stubborn pride, because these destroy fellowship faster than anything else.

Cloth yourselves with humility toward one another.
1. Peter 5:5b

Pride blocks God's grace, and we can only receive God's grace by humbly admitting that we need it. Humility is thinking more of others.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.
Rick Warren - The Purpose Driven Life

3. Cultivating community takes courtesy. It means respecting differences, and being considerate of each other's feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us. In a family, acceptance is not about how beautiful or talent we are, but because we belong to each other. Same goes in spiritual family.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Romans 12:16

We all have our good sides and bad. Learn to understand others.

Instead of thinking about how far they still have to go, think about how far they have come in spite of their hurts.
Rick Warren - The Purpose Driven Life

It's not about denying others' doubts. Real community created when its members know it is safe enough to share their doubts and fears without being judged.

4. Cultivating community takes confidentiality. When someone shares deepest hurts, needs and mistakes, he hopes the group will keep it as confidential. It is something like "bigger secret keepers". What is shared is meant to be kept inside the group, not spreading around, telling other people. Do no gossip.

A perverse man stirs up dissension,
and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 16:28

5. Cultivating community takes frequency. Meet up your group members regularly. You have to spend time with people, a lot of time in fact, to build deep relationships. Spend more time for them.

Community is built not on convenience but on the conviction that I need it for spiritual health.
Rick Warren - The Purpose Driven Life

Meet them up, even you don't feel like so, because you believe it is important. In Bible it was quoted that the first Christians met together everyday!



Thus a small group or class must make a group covenant with these nine characteristics of biblical fellowship:
1. Authenticity,
2. Mutuality,
3. Sympathy,
4. Mercy,
5. Honesty,
6. Humility,
7. Courtesy,
8. Confidentiality,
9. Frequency.

It is the reason why genuine fellowship is so rear. It simply means giving in a lot effort and giving up self-centeredness and independence in order to become interdependent.

The benefits of sharing life together far outweigh the costs, and it prepares us for heaven.
Rick Warren - The Purpose Driven Life

Vincent