!TGIF!

They just snap me, that:-

1. I get tired quite easily – I would consider my current status as fatigue, as contrary to what I always thought about myself – I’m a healthy little boy, at least I thought I was. Having myself under lot’s of works and appointments and lectures a week, I found myself already burnt out during the midday. But it always good when days with Cell Group and Church Meetings/Services – I feel recharged.

2. I am not a good leader. I think I am a good team player; I can support, but I’m still in lack of skills to lead. Despite I always think that “if only I were given the chance”, but I realized I’m unequipped.

3. Workaholic. Somehow despite the tiredness, I found myself actually enjoying about my works and constantly curious about how things works. I found myself actually rising hand in lecture classes whenever I find something that my neighbors don’t understand as well.

4. Bigger dreams. I realized my dreams had been short-sighted like my eyes and I have not set something really far and wide enough for me. I actually laughed at myself for having all those childish ambitions; dreams that would never come true; false hallucinations that play only in my brain – that are far-fetched, these are the things to be left behind, and focus more on what God has really put around me. I should be grateful.

5. It’s always good to be consistently going for badminton. I am actually looking forward to every Mondays and Fridays. Not because of some chicks around or whatsoever but it is a good chance of me to train my German language than only returning them a smile whenever they talk to me. I am playing with Germans every badminton days since the beginning of this semester and honestly, I’m proud of that.

7. It takes some ice-breaking time to actually take the initiatives to know my fellow German friends. After 3 years of spending time together, I should’ve have better relationships with them by now. Time to catch up.

8. Studies are starting to exert their loads on me. But I don’t want to give up now. I just can’t, not now, not after so far I’ve been. My prayer is that God to provide me strengths that I need each day.

9. Sleeping disorder starts affecting me. Insomnia? I found myself sleeping at 12 midnight and woke up at 3 something for almost the whole week. What is wrong?

10. My quiet time is affected by my sleeping disorder. I shall try use my nocturnal-hours for my quiet time huh?

 

Then again, T.G.I.F.!

Matthew 4: 1-11

When the world turns around, you’ll understand that none of the earthly things that you are currently hold on to will remain.

When Jesus returns for the second time, you’ll realize that the worldly fame and honor and praises and achievements will be wiped off, just like that.

When the spills out, you’ll realize that your recklessness has its own price to pay.

Then again, what was/am I doing now? It was such a simple question for myself each day as self-check tool. I went after earthy matters. I chased after my own pleasures. I acted when I was supposed to wait. I exploded when I was supposed to be calm. My speech, it doesn’t reflect of who or what I want to be. My thoughts weren’t on You, when all these while I am always in Your thoughts.

I feel ashamed. Despite being merely 2 years plus Christian, I am ashamed of myself. I could recall tons of situations when I fell over to temptations rather than standing in it.

As soon as Jesus got baptized the Spirit led him into the desert to be tempted. After 40 days and 40 nights fasted, the Devil took the chance while he was in hunger to tempt him.

Jesus didn’t turn the stones into bread to feed his hunger. He didn’t obey Devil’s temptation. Despite his weary physically, and although he is able to turn the stones into bread, he answered instead, “it is written, ‘man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God’”.

The Devil brought him to the highest point of the temple and in Jerusalem, and asked him to jump down, for it is written that God will command angels to concern him, that he will not touch a stone on the ground. Personally, I would just jump down and be saved and boast to the devil, that God will indeed save me. But Jesus didn’t do so. Instead, he answered, “it is also written, ‘do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

Again without giving up, Devil brought him to a very high mountain and showed him the kingdoms of the world and their splendors, offering to him, if only he bow down and worship the Devil. But Jesus didn’t do so. He commanded the Devil to leave him, quoting from the old scripture, saying “worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.”

The Devil left in the end. Looking at it, one might think it is just some normal story-tale. But if you look clearly, those temptations are exactly the weaknesses of us all. The first temptation is to tempt our basic physical needs: food, water, air, sex…

The second temptation is to tempt our faith. Faith is believing in what is unseen. And personally, theoretically it’s easy. But when it comes to real life, when all the things that you hold on to are depending on this faith, not many can really keep this kind of faith. When death lands its claws on you and dragging your life away, are you still able to hold on to this faith?

The third temptation is to tempt our pride, wealth and power. Are we willing to give up all the authorities and power and wealth that we have for this faith in God? Are we willing to humble down and be servant of Christ than be a worldly king that owns whatever there is on the earth? Bear in mind as well all things are created by Him and to Him and for Him. Where am I?

I want to have this kind of faith. I want to live a holy living and not just flowing around. I don’t want to follow the flow of the world, but to live according to His purposes and wills for me. I want to store my rewards in heaven. I want to do things for God. I want to rejoice in the Lord. I will have adequate of living, for my God will provide me not more nor less. I want to stand up in the midst of all these temptations. That is why, some old habits should be given up. Some old thinking must be given up. Some dearly feelings that I hold on to, they must be put down. For my mind is not even an inch as great as His. Teach me Lord, to really be still and know that You are my God. Open my eyes and my heart, to listen to You and to work Your will. Give me the heart to rejoice in You, for You are God alone, in both good times and bad. Teach me, to let go and let You. Break me down to build me up. Let Your Words to be heard by me.

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”
Psalms 23:6