Vincent: Self-Control

..::*+ Small Talk +*::...

1. A sexy voice is what makes me melted completely. ;) you can sing and you should sing more, I’ll be the listener and proud to admit I’m your first fan. =)

2. The sweetest moment is not defined by what you have achieved, but with whom you share that with.

3. It’s not because of who I am, but what You have done; It’s not because of what I’ve done, but because of who You are.

4. China deserves to win Thomas Cup. You can come argue with me, but I can give you valid and actual reasons why they deserve it.

5. On Friday I went to play badminton. And I guess I worsen the recovering wrist. A little. Shoooooot.

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Let's have a teaser first:

Okay, I’ve not done this for quite sometimes, but I would like to share today’s topic in our House Church, it’s titled: Self Control.

Presented by Jia Jin, this topic was old but refreshing one for me. He started by asking about an area in our lives that we lack of self-control and later about how do we think we can solve it. And then we compare what is written in Bible:

“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control”
Proverbs 25:28 NIV

<del>Fair</del> True enough, one who lacks self-control can be seen as not having a self-identity. He can gives thousands of advantages and disadvantages of any issue but fails to tell his stand and view. The heart would be like a city without walls, you’re not knowing what is coming in and going out of yourself and most of the time it comes with a price to pay. Walls are built to protect what’s inside a city, and in our context, our identity. Your identity would be then easily being invaded by outer sources. And you have no defenses against them. How dangerous that is!

So nobody wants it, no? So we were taught of 7 strategies to gain self-control:-

1. Admit your problem – I find that this is the most crucial and essential point – it’s the first step of problem solving. You cannot solve an issue without first identifying it, no? You can beat around the bush for whole day long but in the end you fails to identify your weaknesses and problems. Furthermore, there’re also people (like me) that likes to deny the mess that they’re in. And most of the time I find that I fail to solve the problem.

2. Put your past behind you – A lot of times we think that “that is how we were and are and nothing we can do to change it”. The question is, is it really so? We always let our past defines who we are today. But the truth is that all the failed attempts in your past cannot hold a grip of who you are now unless you let them to. Actually, those aren’t failures, but rather education. One of the famous story is that when Thomas Edison succeed in making light bulbs on his 1001 attempts and was asked about how he felt about the 1000 failed attempts, he said that he found 1000 ways not to make a light bulb. And even in Bible, Paul told us:-

“Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus”
Philippians 3:13-14 NIV

3. Talk back to your feelings – Our feelings play a big role in our decision making. To me, feeling is element that makes a journey either comfortable or painful or both. The thing is that we should always recognize that sometimes feeling controls us. Pastor Stefen ever shared once about 4 areas that could affect our self-control:

Hungry – for some people, when they’re hungry, they tend to lose their self-control. I think I’m not, so far.
Angry – definitely for me sometimes =P
Lustful – men especially
Tired – happened to me lots of times. I still remember my ex-girlfriend said that I ever shouted at her when I was tired. Hmmmmmmmmmm….

Of course there are a lot of areas more, these are just some of the common ones.

4. Believe that you can change – I definitely need this. I have low self-esteem. =.=”

5. Make yourself accountable to someone – Chinese idiom says “团结就是力量", German idiom says “Gemeinsam sind wir stark” (no political view okaaaayy), and in Bible it says:-

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV

Therefore, make yourself accountable to someone, who you can really trust. And there are some criteria that you should choose of that someone, to avoid solving this issue but fall into the other ones:-

same gender
you are confident of that person to keep your secrets
you give them the permission and authority to step into your life to check on you, not just buddy buddy.

6. Avoid the temptation proactively – If you know you will end up spending a lot of time and money on ebay, then don’t go to the website. If you are addicted to internet, then just either off your computer/laptop/Eee PC/whatever OOOOORRRRRRRRR do !this! <—very useful and practical! Oh well, at least for me =P

7. Depend on Christ Power – Well of course, we cannot overcome things without through Him. In addition, God even promised us that all the temptations that we’re facing are solvable:

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyong what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1. Corinthians 10:13 NIV

That is actually my favorite Bible quote =) to always remind me that I can overcome all the temptations through His power. Also some verses shared by those who were present at the House Church Meeting:

“It will be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they did not remain faithful to my covenant, and I turned away from them, declares the Lord. This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.” Hebrews 8:9-10 NIV

Verse Shared by Steph. On a side note, I still cannot forget your funny joke: “Even in Bible God says men should do the coffee-brewing job.” (flipping the Bible) “NaAaaHh, it’s HE-BREWS!! NOT SHE-BREWS!”

Another verse shared by Grace:-