Here's to a quarter of century

..::*+ Small Talk +*::..

Sometimes the reason is simple, it is the inability of human by default to see the future - that's the thing that makes 'future' sounds so scary. I don't want to change the status quo that I'm experiencing. Despite the fact that changes could be good, I would like it to stay as it is now. It's not because I don't want it to be better, but I don't want it to be worse.

It is indeed such times - this kind of dilemma - that we, as Christians, choose to have faith in another divine power - God. I choose to believe that He is in-charge.

Despite the fact that my own desire is to be with you right now. It is because I love, that I understand now that, giving without expecting even a return is so hard to do.

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It is after a quarter of century I slowly don't really care about the amount of wishes I get from other people on my birthday. Or rather I don't want to care. I was clearing my mailbox and for sure the amount of Facebook notification emails was lesser compared to that of last year. The very one whom I desired to hear a wish from didn't wish me. It didn't really matter though - because I have been living in this world for a quarter of a century.

That means something.

I would say my greatest birthday gift was the experience that I collected in the past few weeks. Experience and the encounter with God. I took my initiative, to take back up the cross, and put it across my shoulder. Quite literally, actually. I bought a non-metal necklace, put in the cross I bought more than 6 years ago. I picked up my cross. To walk again alongside with Him. To read on His Word. To reflect upon myself. To listen back to the prophecy that was spoken to me...

So real, God is.

Imagine that you're about to take an exam. And you have been studying since a week ago. But you understood nothing. Even until 4 hours before exam. You woke up. You just prayed, "God, I would really need some comfort now." Then you open and read your devotional material. And God said, the storm that seems to be too big for you, it's just a small fragment of issue compare to the great big picture that God has for you. The timing couldn't been better.

God is greater, in short.

25 years old. Life seems a little different. The journey has changed its course. 

God remained faithful.

Despite the very late timing, happy birthday to myself!

Prequel - Quarter of a Century

..::*+ Small Talk +*::..

Treasure it, for you won't know when it'll be taken away from you.

Perhaps it has already been taken away.

You can't please everyone. But you can choose not to be affected by them. Coin is yours. Whether to flip it or not at all, it's really up to you yourself.

It's not like I cannot identify who these people are, but I want to treasure every single one of them. If then, emotional disturbed is what I get, I rather walk away, this time.

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Early doesn't mean it's kidding.

Today my house church celebrated my early birthday with me. This is the first time celebrating in a new house church. It feels different.

The fact that the exam period starts few days before my birthday really make me not really in the mood to celebrate. Six years of birthday celebrations were all combined with post-exam party. This time it is different. New people. New surroundings. New friends. New university. New life.

A new life of perhaps running away before I could stand up strong to face some unsettled things.

Nevertheless, I want to make it right, this time.

This time, I want to be strong.

This time, I be different.

You gotta love that smooth mango cheese cake made by none other than Sally!

Unexpected dinner treat of Pakistanis' awesomeness of Pulao Briyani. Yummy!

How nice of friends who made sushi for me because the restaurant that we supposed to go and celebrate my birthday unexpectedly didn't open during lunch time.

The spicy syrup drink by the Pakistanis housemate

Oh yea, I haven't claim my free Starbucks drinks. Will go tomorrow.

Well, actually all of these I could post after the big thing. But I think I will forget it if I don't record things down. Suffer minor short-term-memory symptoms already. Talk about aging.

So this is pre-birthday celebrations!

Here's to quarter century of my life on earth. And many many years more, before Jesus's second return!

And yea, I should blog more. Before memories fade away. :/

[Updated] Timing

why am I so disturbed about my future..? Is it because I want to know it now, instead of allowing You, my God to have Your timing?

I worry, because I have only a year more before I come to the end of the study - come to the conclusion of study life and the determination of whether I should stay in Germany, or go back to Malaysia for good.

I worry, because I want to know the reasons and begin to work towards it; to prepare for it.

But, God, why are You not speaking to me?

Why can't I hear anything from You?

Remove any disturbances that could keep me away from hearing from You, for my heart desires for You and to do Your Will.

How to seek Your Kingdom and your Righteousness? You're the lamp of my feet, I pray that You will guide me to Your perfectness.

In Jesus's name,
Amen.

update 20130709 - talking about how real God can be...

Making the Most of Your Time (Joyce Meyer: Promises for Your Everyday Life)

Time really does fly, doesn't it? On the other hand, in some situations, it may seem like time crawls! No matter how fast or slow it feels like time goes by, each of us only has a certain amount of time on this earth. With that in mind, I want to ask you, what are you doing with your time?

Time is such a gift from God! I see every day how He takes His time to make us what He wants us to be. And then, in His mercy and grace, He gives us time to get in agreement with what He's doing in our lives so we can experience His goodness. What a loving God!

So, ask yourself, "Am I in agreement with what God is doing in me? Or, am I struggling and fighting, impatiently trying to do things my way?"

I can assure you, if you're struggling with God, you're just wasting your time, but if you're in agreement with Him, you're using your time for great things.

Remember, God is gracious. He takes His time. We might think He's taking too long when, in His goodness, He is just waiting for us to line up with the work He's doing in us. He won't rush. He is patient. Our struggling only delays our progress.

So maybe this is a good time to change your outlook and start looking ahead to a new way of doing things, a new vision for life, a renewed faith and trust in the One who is always at work in us, and always for our good.

My encouragement to you is to trust God and spend your time getting in agreement with what He is doing in your life. Let Him define your purpose. Know in your heart that He has great plans, and no matter how much time He takes, He loves you, and He always has your best interest at heart.

Prayer Starter: Lord, I want to spend my time agreeing with, not fighting, the great work You are accomplishing in me. I thank You that when I start to waste time, You always remind me that You love me and that Your timing is always best.

He is so real.

She was Mine - Aj Rafael (ft. Jesse Barrera) [Music Video Comp]

..::*+Small Talk +*::..

Seems like it's been awhile since I last posted something right? Well, basically nothing much to blog about, other than, well, I'm sick. But though I'm sick I received and still receiving so much love from lots of different people.

Not really the same love I'm feeling now, but I found this clip made my random youtube people for the song She Was Mine by Aj Rafael. So enjoy!

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Aj Rafael - She Was Mine 

[Verse1]
So I hopped on a train 3 in the afternoon
I don't know when I'm coming back, but I hope that it's soon
See, I never thought (I never though)
That I'd have to leave your side (your side)

[Verse2]
It's only physically but know that you will be on my mind
Twenty-four hours at a time
Cause in my eyes, you were mine (you were mine)

[Chorus]
No matter where you go, I won't be very far
Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are
Cause love has no distance baby
Love, love has no distance baby
No, not when it comes to you and me

[Verse3]
See, she wrote me a letter, said the weather wasn't better
But she said that she was doing fine
"I want to see you face to face", that's what she wrote to me that day
And I knew that it was all a sign
So I wrote back with a song, promised it won't be too long
Wanna make up for all our lost time
Cause in my eyes, you were mine (you were mine)

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
So I'm going through these boxes, my life's gone off track
It's been three years, she hasn't written back
But in my eyes, she's still mine
And I know it sounds so stupid to be waiting this long
But I'm still in love, and I know I'm not wrong
Cause in my eyes, she was mine

[Chorus]

Focus!

took me awhile to re-realize my problem - lack of concentration


I have to keep reminding myself - again, and again, and again.

Keep me in prayers please, if you're still reading this.

Prayer for Malaysia

Guys and girls,

please. We don't need foreign intervention. We need God's intervention. We know the truth: This world is full of evilness. But let us not be bound to the earthly matter, and trust in Lord and His timing.

The sky is the darkest before the dawn arrives. But darkness will not tear us apart. Regardless of the outcome, I am proud of everyone of us for coming out to try to make a difference for our beloved country.

Election outcome might not be as what we expected, but that doesn't tear us apart and to deny that we are indeed still 1Malaysia. Thus, be proud of ourselves. It's not only about winning the war, but the togetherness that we had to fulfill our duty as fellow Malaysians.

Keep praying for the better future of our country, no matter what your religion is. Keep strengthen our bonds as 1Malaysian, no matter what ethic you are. Keep believe in Malaysia, for it is tanah tumpah darahku.

Again, we need not foreign intervention. We don't need to repeat our history. We have learned. We will move on. We are united. We are Malaysia.

Smile, because you and I wanted for a better Malaysia.

What saddens me is that some of us actually think that BN won legitimately. Luke 23:34 - "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Qi Hao

这次以后...

这次以后，
我们之间，
还剩什么？

这次以后，
何时才能，
再次相见？

这次以后，
我还可以，
再来一次？

这次以后，
是妳是我，
还是陌生？

很想很想，
（让）时间倒带，
用时光机，
回到过去，
没有干涉，
只有妳我，
让我再来，
再认识妳。

我...
有点想妳。