'Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards'
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
[Cover]赞美之泉 SOP - 祷告
诗篇 86:6 - 耶和华阿，求你留心听我的祷告，垂听我恳求的声音。
祷告 因为我渺小
祷告 因为我知道我需要 明瞭 你心意对我重要
祷告 已假装不了
祷告 因为你的爱我需要 你关怀 我走过的你都明白
有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下 我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用
马可福音 11: 24 - 所以我告诉你们，凡你们祷告祈求的，无论是什么，只要信
Top gear
I wish I am not a cry baby.
I wish I'm a little stronger than this.
I wish I need not to try to make things work.
But I can't. Kept telling myself "baby you gonna be just fine" don't work, for the fact is that I know myself where I stand now.
I'm running away again. I miss those times when I just let the silent nights heal my heart. Maybe being in crowds isn't the type of coffee that I like. I do feel like escaping away, like back to Malaysia or something like that, but I know it'll only get worst when I come back. A quarter of those I dear to are already in Malaysia, more to go back, some even thought I am going back. I'm quite sick of "why are you not going back?" question. Yea and sometimes I do ask myself, "why am I not going back?" I'm swaying with my decisions. Mixed and complicated feelings are inside me, and the fact that exams are coming soon just made it like a dish of Bibimbap.
"Face it, Qi Hao..."
Little that I know, I'm actually easy to get phobia for things that I once got wrong. There're incidents that really carved into me that made me who I am today - a weakling. As hard as I trying to hide from it, it always gush back to me. I still remember I faced my first rejection by senior friends (my older brother's friends) and that really got my crying for a week. Heh, no one knew it. That was primary 3 alright..
I'm not finding something to blame on, although that actually might make me feel a little better. I just lack this kind confidence. I lost everything with a fall. And seems like things are going to fall apart again. Keep me in a piece. Keep me in prayer.
The one thing one must know about me is that you will never know what's behind my sweet smile.
It is already the worst start off I ever had in my life and anyone should know that I'm type that either stay on top all the way, or never come back. God, what do You want me to learn from here?
I wish I'm a little stronger than this.
I wish I need not to try to make things work.
But I can't. Kept telling myself "baby you gonna be just fine" don't work, for the fact is that I know myself where I stand now.
I'm running away again. I miss those times when I just let the silent nights heal my heart. Maybe being in crowds isn't the type of coffee that I like. I do feel like escaping away, like back to Malaysia or something like that, but I know it'll only get worst when I come back. A quarter of those I dear to are already in Malaysia, more to go back, some even thought I am going back. I'm quite sick of "why are you not going back?" question. Yea and sometimes I do ask myself, "why am I not going back?" I'm swaying with my decisions. Mixed and complicated feelings are inside me, and the fact that exams are coming soon just made it like a dish of Bibimbap.
"Face it, Qi Hao..."
Little that I know, I'm actually easy to get phobia for things that I once got wrong. There're incidents that really carved into me that made me who I am today - a weakling. As hard as I trying to hide from it, it always gush back to me. I still remember I faced my first rejection by senior friends (my older brother's friends) and that really got my crying for a week. Heh, no one knew it. That was primary 3 alright..
I'm not finding something to blame on, although that actually might make me feel a little better. I just lack this kind confidence. I lost everything with a fall. And seems like things are going to fall apart again. Keep me in a piece. Keep me in prayer.
The one thing one must know about me is that you will never know what's behind my sweet smile.
It is already the worst start off I ever had in my life and anyone should know that I'm type that either stay on top all the way, or never come back. God, what do You want me to learn from here?
Friday, January 07, 2011
Monday, January 03, 2011
Faith
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.Hebrews 11:8 (italics mine)
Baby faith like me should learn to really have faith in God and His plan for me. Abraham obeyed God, even though he didn't know what God had for him. Often people see life as a river-flow; one just need to follow what's given. But for us, we know that God has His own plan for us and we're not follow the flow. We obey what God has in mind for us. But the question is: will the temporal uncertainties and doubts stop us from doing God's work? Often God doesn't appear straight to us to tell us what He planned for us. But bit by bit, He reveals to us His plan. Are we being patient enough to see that coming?
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