Faith

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.

Hebrews 11:8 (italics mine)

Baby faith like me should learn to really have faith in God and His plan for me. Abraham obeyed God, even though he didn't know what God had for him. Often people see life as a river-flow; one just need to follow what's given. But for us, we know that God has His own plan for us and we're not follow the flow. We obey what God has in mind for us. But the question is: will the temporal uncertainties and doubts stop us from doing God's work? Often God doesn't appear straight to us to tell us what He planned for us. But bit by bit, He reveals to us His plan. Are we being patient enough to see that coming?

it's sad to see that you don't see what I see.

Patient, patient.

The happiest thing in your life is the most hurtful one.
Because you care.

The Best, or not the Best, yet :P

I think it is always good that once a while one is reminded that he is far from being the best.

It has been almost 3 years since I came Germany and I was always proud of myself to be one of the best badminton players among my circle, if not the best :P I’m not saying that other people suck in badminton, but well, they’re not as good as me and I can win any game easily.

But I guess God has a better plan for my personal and spiritual growth. Since this semester I have been going to badminton alone for quite some times. Those who used to go with me are either graduated and moved to other places to study/work, or went back to Malaysia, or long-term injured, or found themselves stuck in school projects and labs. Most of the time I wasn’t informed until 19:36h when I didn’t see either of them in the bus with number 61. This seem-to-be-unfortunate situation forced me to really approach the Germans to play with them.

Being passive as usual, I stood there alone and waited for other people to come and make me feel not left-out play with me. But since early this semester I decided, for now, that I want to stay longer in Germany. So I decided to brave myself up and approach the cold-ice Germans.

The decision was never easy and once a while I got demotivated. There are some Germans who generally dislike us, the so-called Ausländer (foreigners). Maybe it’s some kind of prejudices, just like how we look at the Bangladesh labors back in Malaysia. But God is gracious. He kept my heart firm and pressed on to go to play badminton; to continue to burn my passion. Although I must say sometimes I do really enjoy the pissed-look by the German (let’s be a little particular) to see that I mix among them.

So time flew just like that and today I am who I should have been since 2 years ago. The feeling is just like playing Need For Speed: Most Wanted: I climbed the “ladder”; started by playing with some old uncles and aunties, I was “promoted” to play with the young teenagers (those 17-20), then I played with the second best… And yesterday was the highlight of my badminton “career” in Germany – I was invited to play alongside with the 3 best players of the club. Yea, I asked to play with them, but I didn’t expect the best player actually asked 2 of his mates to join in.

Well, after so long, it’s good to be one of the weakest among the four. I felt like I had to “apologize” for making stupid unforced errors, and not keeping the standard of the game. Well, normally I do like to disrupt the flow and tempo of a game, but not like this. Haha. My partner and I lost by a little points behind, 19-21, 17-21. It made me really realized that I am not the best, yet. Okay I know you might feel like “duhhhhhhh!” or “Ahboh?”, but wait till the time when you’re in that same shoe, like I in mine, you will know how I feel. If you get what I mean. :P

Despite that, it was definitely fun and such a pleasure to play in a high-level game; I never sweat so much before, I never run until my gastrocnemius muscles exhausted; I never feel so frustrated before; I never have my best smashes returned rather “cheaply”; but best of all – I never notice that my best is as today my weakness. My backstrokes and overheads used to be so good that made me a Single-Player. My favorite shot to take used to be sky high base-line lob-shots or services, but I realized it is my weakness now. Well, gotta work out something on it.

“Wir müssen oft zusammenspielen.” It means “we must play together frequently” and that’s what they told me every time. To hear them telling me to play with them so that I can continue to be better is definitely something I am proud of. To see them got frustrated to my “unpredictable” trademark shots is definitely “encouraging”. To see them letting the shots drop to the ground and realize that it is on-the-line and got pissed is definitely such a teaser. Oh I am such a sadist.

It was definitely a good start. There were definitely some points during the process to exert the feeling to give up inside me. And it is definitely the best so-far and better next-times in the future.

My goal? I wish to be the best in the club. :)

Oh, forgot to mention the hot Madame! Nah, she is just someone who likes to find me to play badminton. She was the one who brought me in to play with the teenagers :) And I am really grateful for the hook-up, though I haven’t catch her name yet.

It’s also great to see that they actually want to offer me a ride home after game. Anyone lives in direction Flein? Haha. Hope they’re not plotting something evil, but what I am thinking though!

 

This post is not meant to show off, but rather collecting pieces of sweetest memories in this cold-cold land. :)

*gratefully* Thank GOD!

Between Collectivistic and Individualistic

I was reminded of this psychological observation:

Question 1:
In which kind of culture (collectivistic or individualistic) do ppl experience more loneliness?

Question 2:
which culture would there be more crime?

Question 3:
which culture would ppl experience the most happiness?

It's funny to see that the answer for all the three questions is individualistic.

Yes, we both agree they're arguable, but based on what I observed in lives of the people around me, I guess it is true.

It's just that there is one problem: they masked it up very well. They are so defensive, that you can't even have a heart-to-heart talk with those individualists about their private lives. It'll take years and maybe not even success, to step into those people's mind and know what are they thinking.

That is what that makes them tend to do something. Something abnormal, for example crime. That explains also the reason they experience the most happiness. But for that it'll have to be broken down into the characteristics and personalities of the person him-/herself. If they are to have strong drive, they can be most successful and thus to have greater joy. And to achieve something based on yourself - what else can be proud of other than yourself?

That is what that makes these people to suffer loneliness. Because of their I-can-depend-on-myself attitude, they form a barrier against the society, with the thought that they can survive the world without other people. They are the people who don't believe in "gemeinsam sind wir stark" ideology. Or "if we are together nothing is impossible. If we are divided all will fail" by Winston Churchill. Or "一木木，二木林，三木森，单丝不成线，独木不成林". They are the people who think that the people around them are not as good as them, and if they are, they will compete just to win against them. In short, they want to be "the one" in their cloud. These are the people who dominate, or want to dominate the high class in the social hierarchy, which also on the feedback make them to be "unfriendable". Or at least they are the people whom I feel uncomfortable to befriend with.

I'm not saying they're just who they are. I'm not going to cast them aside. It's just that I believe in any relationship, both sides have to do something to make the relationship work. I've seen people struggling hard and managed to get themselves out of the hole. These are the people who I want to be like one: successful, energetic, active, proactive, strong; a man of vision and character, a king; a man of power and strength, a warrior; a man of faith and wisdom, a mentor; and at the same time understanding, empathetic; a man of heart and love, a friend.

What do you think?


p/s: It's dangerous to see how much my mind can ripple from those 3 questions. :P
p/p/s: Thanks Gloria Tsan for the 3 questions.

Just in case you haven’t know me, I don’t like to give up on what I want.

Rubbishes I created I will clean up, just don’t stir something in me.

Neither like the idea of jumping into my way.

Roar. U n U n U.

I.bite.

I don’t like it.

Time is short.

And I don’t like it.

Please slow down the time.

It’s GOSSSSHHHH-y December now.

:(

And my milestones only a tid-bit reached.

 

Focus, focus.