I solemnly swear that I'm not a book-reading person. But this is my new year resolution - I want to read at least ten books in 2014. It might sound pretty easy to you all, but I haven't read more than 10 books (other than those compulsory ones in my academic journey) in my entire life. Thus, please give me encouragement and motivation.
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I see myself as an individual complex person. I don't think like normal people do. And I have tons of emotions and I express them pretty easily. Those who are near (not even need to be close) to me know and can testify this.
I always thought that this world is unfair. That the dominant people get what they want. That only the MOST talented person get what they deserve. That the nice guys (yeah I thought I am one) finish last. That those other people get all the girls I myself really wanted to be with.
Perhaps it's still is.
I, on the other hand, will always be the second best person, student, badminton player, Christians (believe me, sometimes I do feel that I will never be knowledgeable as some of my Christian friends), lover etc. And looking back, it's kinda pathetic to think such way. And what's worse, I've been stuck in this emotional self-pity state pretty much since the end of my primary school era. It's only once in the blue moon, and hopefully not this time, that I came out from that realm and to do something happy. Like really happy.
I want to stop here, and I also want to introduce a book - a book that is changing my mind. A book calls Outliers, by Malcom Gladwell.
In the book it talks about those success person - Aces in the Canadian Hockey Team, Bill Gates, Joseph Flom, Bill Joy, The Beatles, etc. These are some outstanding person in the history of humankind and honestly, after I read the book, their successes aren't surprise at all. In the book, the author went deep into the times, culture, background and what did these people do in those era.
These are the hardworking people, presented with opportunities, and grabbed them.
"Success follows a predictable course. It is not the brightest who succeed. ... Nor is success simply the sum of decisions and effort we make on our own behalf. It is, rather, a gift. Outliers are those who have been given opportunities - and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them."
These words don't make any sense if we do not study their background. These words don't make sense if we do not know the cultural and social implications on their success. In short, their success aren't something that clock-worked overnight. Rather, they are series of little events in life that snowballed to their success.
The 10,000 Hours Rule
It starts by hard work. In the book it is said that to master a certain skill one, in average, needs to invest 10,000 hours into it. Bill Gates did; Bill Joy did; I did. To look back in the past, I spent the entire years between 7-12 years old in badminton. I went to school, I came back home to finish my homework, I went for badminton training. That's Mondays to Fridays. On Saturdays, either we did fitness training (which I often skipped because of Art tuition class), or we did jogging in Kuching Reservoir Park. In December we would have a month break, and I pretty much spent all those time either in Peninsula Malaysia, or travelling somewhere in other countries. In short, I definitely hit the 10,000 hours mark. In fact, I think I'm considered below average to have invested so much time in badminton and still play with my current standard. I was never proud of it. But that's another story that I might share next time. Yes might. But that explains why I am much better than average in badminton. This is one of my little successes in life, and it concurred to this rule. The other example to this is my DotA career. But let's not go into this.
Opportunities
In short, it is something that is presented to us. God's providence. The Beatles, yes John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. The Beatles were given rare opportunities that forced them to perform lots of hours. That's why they were good. My dad was very particular about art (let's not keep obsessed with my badminton story), and sent us to drawing classes. That's why I sort of good in drawing. Joy Bill spent phenomenon of time in the Computer Center in Michigan University.
"How much time did I spend there? Oh, a phenomenon amount of time. It was open twenty-four hours. I would stay there all night, and just walk home in the morning. In an average week in those years, I was spending more time in the Computer Center than on my classes."
Michigan, in those years, was one of the universities that allowed hundreds of students to do programming simultaneously.
Legacy
As Asians we were always being joke that Asians are good in Maths. And being an Asian, most of the times I would just laughed that off. But the fact is true. We remembered numbers differently than the Westerns do. We read fractions different than the Westerns. We perform mathematical calculations different than, at least, the Germans do. We said 二十三 (two-tens-three), instead of twenty-three, or drei und zwanzig (three-and-twenty). This is one of the example of legacy advantages that contributes (I don't imply it "must make us") to the effectiveness of Asians in mathematics.
In primary and secondary school times, we had classes from 8am-1pm, and co-curricular activities after that. We don't have long summer breaks. Our year end break is perhaps as long as the winter break in Europe. That means we spent more time in academic sessions than the Europeans. Imagine if this has become a lifestyle of an Asian, if we continue to apply this cultural advantages in academic wise, it shouldn't be a surprise that Asians are better than the Europeans in sum, no? (Shucks, why am I still so poor in studies?)
Sufficient is enough
I always think that if I want to do something, I want to be the best. How to be the best? The easiest way is to compare with the rest of the people who are in the same boat as you. I want to be the smartest. The fastest one to come out with mathematical solutions to given question. And I realized that the more I compare, the more I was demotivated. I am not the smartest, not even in my peers. I'm not the most handsome one. I'm not the best student. Not the best DotA player. Not the most gifted with talents. Then the thought goes on: Then what for am I investing time into doing certain things if I'm not able to come out as the best one in the end?
"Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning. Once it does, it becomes the kind of thing that makes you grab your wife around the waist and dance a jig."Understanding why I need to work hard, despite I'm not the cleverest. Understanding why I need to do, despite the outcome might not be as expected. The reason is simple, though it seemed so sophisticated: By doing it I give myself a chance to step forward; By doing it I let myself to walk on the water; By doing it it leaves no room for me to regret, because I've given my best; By doing it I won't end up crying and complaining and pouting about how life is unfair to me. Life is never fair the moment even I don't give myself a chance.
So what's next for me?
After reading the book, I realized that this (im-)perfectionism stopped me from putting effort into things. I always thought I'm hardworking enough - I thought through things enough, I put a lot of effort into from studying, to chasing girls, to... you name it. The fact is, I'm merely scratching the surfaces. I didn't think deep enough. I remembered last time - long long time ago - that my mentor asked me to write down my identity. I did. But I just stopped there. To recall back, I guess that was the time when he read this book Outliers as well.
Now I understand why I need to know my identity. It is through these properties that I can determine what the next steps could be. It is through these "Eigenschaften" that I can dream - a dream where the chase has a base to kick-start. It is through these identities that I know how to be grateful. Counting the blessings aren't enough, to me. Knowing what are you doing with these blessings is far more important. It's like Parable of the talents. But I've been taking all these providence for granted. I've worked with aces people. I've been into two house churches with totally different leadership styles and now I'm leading one myself. I've been blessed with mentors of different styles which none of my church friends here has had before. I've been to what was the finest schools, both primary and secondary, in Kuching. I was privileged to be under Sarawak Badminton Association "Project Player" Program. Both my parents were academic excellence in those years. I've been blessed with an almost-ten-years-already scholarship from the government. I am a Malaysian who speaks Chinese, Malay, English, German, Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese and un poco español. The list goes on, and if I could just make full use of some of these blessings... If I could just stay focused on Jesus when He asked me to walk on the water... And if I could just surrender my love life totally to God instead of crying over the same issue over and over again... And if I could, quoting Nike, just do it...
I always have had dreams. The unrealistic ones.
In 2014, I want to rediscover my identity, to build confidence, and to march on towards my dreams - the newly defined dreams.
You who reads, please lend me hands.
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