How Can I Not

I feel like.. I know.

I feel like.. I can.

I feel like.. I will.

But in the end, talks are all I can.

Sigh. Kinda screwed things up.

Didn't have enough sleep.

Worried over some internal struggles, but as I've said, refusing to let go..

Refusing to let God.

.

..

.

Sometimes I wonder, how rebellious me myself is; knowing that God is in control of all things, but the my ego stubbornness stimulate me to move on, without Him. It feels strange, but I feel like an egg, rolling on horizontal surface of a brick wall. Because eggs are oval, so no matter how far I can roll across the wall, or how fast I can roll, or maybe even stay still, I'll fall.

I know, by going on like this I'll fall.

I'll f-a-i-l.

But times, I just wish I could have a more clearer mind; a peaceful heart; a sense of satisfaction of what I have; a love-filled body; and a contented soul.

No, I've gone too far. Too far. Too proud. Too egoistic. Too show-off. I've been resounding people's past praises in my head, when God is asking, "my child, what are you doing? Why do you give your attentions to My creations, but not to the Creater of all things that you could ever known?"

But then, this God has always been faithful. This God still shows me His greatness and His love by keeping on to remind me of Him.

This song really made me thought a lot. How could...

JS - How Can I Not (Original)

How could You..

Hope it reminds you of His great and endless love too.