Some updates

Nah, not going to blog something 'grand'. Just want to update some happenings here in Germany.

Well, 3rd semester has started nearly a month already and things were and will be very hectic for me. Firstly I never come to deal with so many things in a row. Secondly it's about the bad time management lately.

First. I see a lot of chances in this semester. I'm going to be 'extreme' this semester: I'll be attending 2 classes at the same time. What am I talking about, you might ask. Well, let's go into some further details. I guessed most of you knew that I failed Elektrotechnik2 last semester. Oh no, you all don't know; you all know the first part of the story only. So let's have a story-telling time, shall we?

The Story-Part2: Last semester I did VERY badly in Elektrotechnik2 paper during the exam. As in, 2 hours and I 'amazingly' memorized wrongly the equation and that error really seriously demotivated me. Imagine, 5 out of 7 questions were to use the SAME equation that I happened to be memorized wrongly. And that equation was the very first part of each question. Meaning, if you can't work out the correct number, you screw the other parts. So yes. Failed. That was something, to be honest, really demotivated me, A LOT.

End of the story. So basically I have to repeat the paper again. And this time the lecture class happens to be clashing with my Hauptstudium's subjects (as in subjects higher semester). Yes, mark my word - it's subjectS. So did I do a kagebunshin? or taju kagebunshin? No, I made an agreement with my other fellow fallen heroes (sacarstically =S ) so that all of us never miss any of the classes. Sounds good? But it's really hard. Projects coming, have to concentrate in class, and some bad time management (mahjong till 5am, rush homework till 5am... etc) in the end, I felt like I'm not like what I was last semester. I wish I'm Patricia, for she is always injected with excite - Auf Deutsch sagt man "super begeistert" - for I am easily moved and so-called 'touched' by surroundings. Yea, my bad.

That is the bad news from me. And also the reason why I've been blogging craps in the past few posts. Not craps really, just some personal grunts and Malaysian Chinese (must be specific) say "sien-ness" of life. Msn was attacked by unknown Virus that I don't even know how on earth did one of the .exe (executable file) of the chatting messenger was modified. You can have my words that I can judge which links are spams and junks. But... nevermind, logged it in my X-files.

Let's go to some brighter update. So basically I see GREAT AND TONS of opportunities this semester. First of all, I have chance to sweep 6 golds in badminton this year (damn confident lol) but the sour part was that I couldn't organize a PROPER trip to Cardiff for Cardiff Games. So bye bye 2 golds. And now, the upcoming one would be MGSS Badminton Championship (oh well, I named it myself, not officially called so). It'll be scheduled on the 1st of June, directly after my Church camp. And yea, I know I'll be super tired. I just don't really know how to decide. Markus seems to hold me on for sure to help him on the last day. Oh well. We'll see. Another thing about badminton is that we're now in a discussion with the Esslinger to have our badminton session at both places, as in like playing Home and Away. Malaysians only, of course. So far nothing has come out, but I guess most probably it'll come to an agreement soon, that we swap venue on every Friday.

And speaking of Friday, it'll also be the time where our practise for Worship session of my church. Yes, I joined the Worship team of our church. It's a great thing and a great opportunity but the schade (sad) part is that it'll clash with my badminton. I've spoken to the leader and yea, we'll see what will happen. And oh by the way, I sort of disappointed of myself today because of some technical (or rather, musical) issue in my House Church. Well, I thought I have the confidence to lead the song "Now that You're Near" but in the end screwed it up. Not really that bad, just that, well, I expected more from me. But to not drifted away from current topic, what I wanted to say is, please pray for me, pray for a solution for this situation.

And about music, I'm currently into learning some music theory on my own. I have a e-book with very detailed teachings to get a hold of music theory. And my senior Jonathan had left me a keyboard, so I decided to use this opportunity to learn something. Further more, one of my badminton-mate-to-be, also my super grand old senior, Shee Lay, he is a great pianist (real professional I tell you, and I can say that until now, I never see any of my friends could play better than him. Sorry, because this might offended you all. Haha. The great thing is that he offered to help me out, if I want, of course. So it's really something that I felt very very very fortunate to have this chance.

Anyway, about my studies again, I've been told that many projects will come to find me soon. Or rather, some had already haunted me. Bedingte Längenkodierung über Fibonacci-Reihe. I had some progress about it, but at the same time, I heard that EST's project isn't easy, so... sweat.I just hope I could finish all of these on time. By the way, the EST is not English for Sciene and Technology, but Elektronische Schaltungstechnik, which is a VERY HARD subject with lots of homework. So I've been working on the homeworks and some, or rather, little, self-revision and gosh, it really takes time. And with the current progress, I got the feeling that I'll be 'fishing' in class if there's not change in everything. So, need to rearrange and manage my time wiser.

Okay spiritual part. Basically I always enjoyed talking to some very nice people from the other far end of the earth. Earth has no end, by the way. People like Amy, Anna, and just 'nearby' France's Gareth, I really enjoyed talking to them; we shared our spiritual struggles, thoughts, joy, peace with God etc etc. I just wish I can spend more time in this, but I also aware that I'm really very noob in managing my time. So, maybe this is also something where I need to throw some thoughts about. And about our Cellgroup, God is so great that we're now in a growing process. We have Helen, Wengkhong and the fatbear James from my junior batch and also the funny American Megan who wants to marry only to guy name Jones so that she could name her daughter Indi (or sort of) so that people could call her "Indiana Jones" =.=" Lame I know, but haha, she really came out with a funny joke. And also we have a girl name Claire Yang from Taiwan+US, who sooooooo excited over a German boardgame name Siedler. Yes, we all have been playing that game for quite some times, and the very 'cunning' one always won. Hmmmph. Haha. Nah, no offence, just for laugh. Only he himself know that I'm talking about him. LoL. I gave hint. or sogar hintS =.=" But anyway, I'm very happy to see the growth and I can see great things ahead =)

And just another piece of thought outside topic, I do feel that a lot people are too proud of themselves. The way they talk to me, I somehow feel personally attacked. I don't want to speculate or judge if they're really that mean or whatever, but then, I just hope people would be more sensitive of other people's feeling. The way to talk, the way to express, they leave impacts directly and indirectly in other people's mind. And for me, although I tried to compromise (doch, I use the correct word =.=) but somehow, I felt like they're too much. But then, I also aware that I'm picking up this 'bad habit' on my own. So guess what, I sticked a new note on my wall: Be patient and trust God. Hope that this could be a super reminder to myself, always.

And to that very person - you know who you are -, what I really wanted to tell you is that, I want to see you change. I don't care what happened in your past, how bad you were/are, how worry you are about your future, I just want to tell you that, yes, I believe you can change. Why? Because I love to see human change into a better person. That's why I choose to keep this friendship. It could've been a hi-bye like a lot of people that I came across, but I want to see you grow into someone really matured, not to be influenced and shaken by things around you. Be strong. Most importantly, be who you really are. Need not to run around avoiding facts and things around you. Confront them, my dear. Yes, confront them. I'm sure you can. Testing testing... I'm okay... =)

*Before I forgot, I'm not as emo as you, you emo esslinger* roar.

*I don't want to give up and let go of it, but I guess... I have no choice?

As all of you can see, there are lots of great things happening in my current life. Exciting challenges. But the thing is, when I combine them all and put on the very same table, I frowned (I hope I used the correct term) over it. Not because they're bad, but too good and schade-ly, I have to choose, and to let go things that not really doing and helping me. I have been worrying about this, and to be honest, I lived a life of trying to hide away from making any selections. I treasure all of these. Just that, just like a monkey stucked in a cage because of a banana, I have to let it/them go to be free. And for that, I really don't know how to choose. I really don't know. They're too good to be let go. Too good...

Lord, I just wanna come to Your presence,

to lay down all of my doubts, and my worries in front of You.

Bring me to the decision that You want me to decide.

Show me the path that I should take, and guide me and light me to direction that You assigned me.

Without a guide, I'm just like a blind wondering in the dark,

not knowing where am I going, not knowing what I am doing.

But You are the light, the way, the truth and the life.

So as a servant of Yours, Lord, show me Your way for me.

Teach me how to let go of things that I've been holding on very firmly until now,

teach me how to be completely surrendered to You,

teach me how to be more and more like You,

and reap in me the Fruit of the Spirit.

Use me, Lord, for Your purpose and Your glory.

Your will, Lord, shall be done.

For I am jusr the tool and You are the carpenter.

In Jesus' most wonderful name I pray,