Oh Lord, it has been a year, no? It has been a year since my first journey with You. Yes, my life maybe would be happier without You. I would have been living a life rejecting You. I would have been a bad-boy doing just like the others do. I could have now with colorful hairs and pierces across my ears, nose, foreheads… everything, just like trends of today. I would have chasing after earthly matters, such as gold, beautiful girlfriends, flirting around… They sound so nice, no?
But I chose to follow You, Jesus. I chose to give up all the crazy stuffs that I’ve been doing before I chose to acknowledge You as my savior. It wasn’t easy to talk to You for the first time. But I guess every ‘first time’ is very worrying, because I don’t have experience in it. But Lord, Thank You Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit for knocking at my doorstep. This journey, until now, was indeed more tears than joy. But I’m happy that I’ve secured Your grace in me. For on the 23rd December, my life changed, turned into new, resurrected from the old past, and married to You. What else could be meaningful other than securing an unfailing love in me? A girlfriend’s love? Definitely not. I thank You Lord for Your love.
I confessed that I’ve been doing things that disappoint You. I admitted that a lot of times I forgot about You – ignoring my morning meetings with You, doing things on my own strength, moving chesspieces across the board without knowing that I’m going for a self-distruction – but Lord, Your gentle hands are still holding me in Your breast, despite the wildness and rebellious heart of mine. Even though You’re most of the time hurt by my attitude, although I neglected our relationship with You, even though I cast you aside in many situations, although I disobey Your Words and calling, and signs and forcing things to go on my own ways,
Still You always forgive with a gentle smile, if only I ask.
A year of experiencing You was indeed interesting. Sometimes I prayed to You very hard, talked to You very emotionally about my life, tears… Yet You stood aside in somewhere, silent. And all You gave me was just Psalms 46:10, but Lord, all of the silence from You really mean a lot. You don’t just silent; You waited for the perfect timing to get me out of the complicate situation. You’re like Anti-lock Braking System (ABS) in cars nowadays – You braked me from going straight into accident. Therefore Lord, although there’re things that I do not understand today, but You’ve proved to me that You let me know tomorrow, or day after tomorrow… someday, but surely one day, when the timing is perfect. Therefore Lord, I’m always amazed by Your timing – it' just couldn’t get anywhere better than Your plan.
For the sake of growing up, You expressed Your love by hurting me, breaking me apart, tearing me down, pushing me down into the deep sea. Not because You want to drown me; You know I’ll not drowned, and I know that too, because of Your promise in me. You pushed me down into the deep sea, so that I could swim back to You, and serve You with trembling heart. I know, all the tears from Your merciful eyes as You watched me suffering in the downfall situations. You cried in pain as You watched me crying out loud for all the emotional situations. But for the sake to change me to be more Christ-like, You forced Yourself to be the bad guy and sacrifice the Almighty-God-sitting-far-far-high-high-somewhere-above property of Yours and came down to me. Thank You for taking me together with You throughout this first year.
Your love will always follow me, and Lord, I thank You for the cross. A year since I followed You, and despite all the sadness, I rejoice in You! For I know the promises You have for me, You’re the One Way of my life. Let us draw closer to each other, oh Lord. Let me understand You more and more. And Lord, how great are You!
Today, I celebrate my love for You. Thank You for saving me, God =)
A toast for You, thank You! Happy Birthday, Qi Hao =)
4 comments:
Happy spiritual birthday, Dearest Son! May you continue to grow in the Lord!
yo mom! Haha... got dl my song? =P
it was your birthday? happy birthday even though it's late!
not my bday la. >.< my Baptist date =)
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