Bye bye 2008

Will not be around till 1st of January 2009.

For church camp. Starting tomorrow.

So, wish you all a happy new year and good swoosh in 2009 (German direct-translated).

Don't miss me.

Yea, I know you won't =.="

Anyway, this is the last post in 2008 so I'll try to be nice in words, although I know my English is not as good as some people =P So here goes:

Next to an end we all will come,

Eagerly waiting another year to start,

With dreams and hopes glittering in our mind.

Yet things are hard as they seem to be,

Everything seems a grey than black nor white,

Another chapter of uncertainties, but

ROAR 2009, HERE I COME!

*yes, a bit lame also, who cares, as long as I'm happy*

Wrapping blogspot year 2008,

Vincent

New Year Meme

..::+* Small Talk +*::..

Got this from someone who requested me to blog this out. So here goes.

*update: Editted into longer version.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The year is drawing to a close shortly, so here’s a quick meme about the past year and what you hope for in the coming year!

 

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

a) It took me a while to really putting the trust into Jesus, despite all the bad times that spammed me throughout the year.

b) Being crazy with friends and seniors. I mean REAL crazy. (Christmas party)

c) Really stop indulge in DotA. No, I mean, really retire from touching that game.

d) Bought myself a super expensive guitar.

 

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I guess I did not achieve most of them, mainly due to my lack of concentration on what I wanted to achieve and being distracted easily by things around. To think again, I didn’t even have a proper new year resolution thingy. I’m still on my way doing the one for next few years. Yea, Jia Jin, I’m not done it yet =(

 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not really sure lol, I guess no?

 

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, my grandmother.

5. What countries/states did you visit?

a) Germany.

b) France – Paris, Nice

c) Monaco

d) Malaysia (inclusive? Haha)

 

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

a) Better concentration in things

b) Being more active in life – not just studies, but also things around, news etc. 2008 was really a “passive” person, quoted from someone.

c) Better academic performance. 2008 was, erm, really not good.

d) Better planning for my time. As in to seek the balance in time – social, studies, spiritual life, personal life, Sabbath.

 

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

a) When I earned the title MGSS Champion. Because it would not happened if it wasn’t God’s miracle. >.<

b) Day 1 of Purpose Driven Life. It was a date when I really got excited about a book since, ermmm, Harry Potter series?

c) Fathers’ Day 2008. It was a time when I really put in effort to understand my dad’s actions since I was still young.

d) Sweat! Do I really need to mention those days when I cried?

 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Haha, a nice question. I never cried so much before in the past so I guess this is my greatest achievement in growing up? Yes, growing up is a painful process. Yes, I’m proud to claim that “crying a lot” was my biggest achievement.

*Someone starts to feel sorry reading this, right? the one who made me cry…? haha. Nah, keep it up =P*

 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Hmm… Failed to trust God. There were times when I really did things on my own, without seeking Him, discuss the matter with Him. I went in blindly on things and yes, caused misunderstandings, tensions, cold wars, accidents, and yes, failed so many subjects in my studies.

 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Minor injuries, yes. Ermm… If running nose + headache for 2 weeks counts then yea. And ermm… nose internal bleeding, yes. Other than that I’m fine, PRAISE THE LORD for my good health! =)

 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My precious €300 guitar. *Don’t convert, don’t convert… zzz*

 

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Ermmmm... someone, I guess? =P

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

The very same someone? Yea, that person made me depressed.

14. Where did most of your money go?

At first I thought it was ebay, but then I guess the most expensive thing was the guitar. So I conclude that my money went to Stuttgart-Heilbronn travelling (at least €46,00 per month) and the guitar.

 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Ermm.. God!!! oh yea, and music. Yes, no doubt.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

Ermmm.. Ermmm.. “Still” by “Hillsong Music Australia”, “Undo” by “Rush of Fools”. Don’t really know.

 

17. Compare the this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) sadder if look directly on my life, but happier if look at the whole picture.

b) fatter, hu hu. I sort of hearing people saying "if you're fat, then we're furball..."

c) suddenly from a dead-broke to ermm, ok ok la. So richer. Thank you JPA. LoL.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Investing more time in studies other than playing around. Giving in more effort in a lot of stuffs rather than doing half-heartedly.

 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Skipping lecture class (yes, and I felt guilty). Playing computer games. “Perasan”-ing. “Kepo/sampat”-ing about people’s privacies. <del>Imagining things that won’t happen.</del> Storing hatred and dislikes on some people (Plural for people is?). Talk bad behind people. Telling other people others’ secrets.

* I must confess here about these things, especially the last 3 points – I really did them. >.<

 

20. How did you spend Christmas?

The westerns celebrated Christmas with family, so we scholars celebrated together, since no family here. Ermmm.. Afternoon futsal at Stuttgart, and night had a crazy and wild Christmas party. =)

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Sadly, yes. And sad also. Well, luckily I didn't fall, thank you ABS to save my life, a little.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I didn’t watch anything other than Simpson (thanks to my Malay friend), but that was, is, will not be my favorite TV program.

 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

NOW- no one. THIS YEAR - got some, but just little frusted and annoyed. My bad to store hatred. So, I chose to forgive and forget. *being honest here.

24. What was the best book you read?

Haha, I didn’t read a lot of book, but I guess it should be Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life.

 

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

“Wow, so it’s like this to transpose guitar chords”, “Wow, so it’s like this to change from guitar to piano keys”, and “Wow, so these are a little about the theories of music”

haha.

 

26. What did you want and get?

At least not a lonely Christmas, I got =) Grow-ups, I got. A drawing block, I got =)

27. What did you want and not get?

Gundam Strike Freedom Full Burst (MG), I did not. Get some-adalah, I did not. Desktop, I did not. DSL-R, I did not.

28.What was your favorite film of this year?

I didn’t really like any film. Wait. I think I found one: Wall-E.

sweat.

 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Jia Jin, on whose birthday I did nothing in return, made a supposed-to-be-surprise party for me and every Heilbronner Chinese were here. Kind of touched. =P I was 20 years OLD.

 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If only I could trust God more than my own self-proclaimed-smart brain...

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Not so many clothes to play fashion here >.<>.<

32. What kept you sane?

God. =)

 

33. Which celebrity/ public figure did you fancy the most?

Ermmm.. I don't fancy anyone. Eh, ermm... Emma Watson! =) Ms Granger, Hermione. Reminded me of a secondary school friend.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Malaysia's "Ketuanan Melayu" or Malay supremacy issue that raised up last time.

35. Who did you miss?

Sweat. Ermm. Someone. Sometime, some place.. *wink*

 

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Can I use "persons"? because it was best "new", not "newest", and I got lots. So 1 is the one that gave me this thingy to write.

Ermm… another would be the one who made me cried the most? Haha.

*ok, I admit I keep on bringing him into this thingy. Haha.

 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

Want to have a long post? No no. Just read my blog.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yay, hey, I finished. 

Some words for you

..::*+ Small Talk +*::..

You told me to keep it low, but I... I couldn't. This post is specially directed to you =)

//++==--****--==++\\

I guess that's a worst "Christmas present" that you received, no?

Sometimes I wonder, why I keep on weeping and mourning over small little sad things. Compare to you, my cases weren't that serious, at least not life-threathening. But your case, is very serious, if the 'timer bomb' triggered, it could be fatal.

Yet, a lot of times I was almost brought down, gave up. But you, yes you, when you told me the disease, you kept on saying, "Don't worry la, I'm still OK! Jesus is with me!"

This level of relationship with Jesus, definitely is pure and strong.  Life-threathening - it's really a life-threathening matter. Imagine your leg is tied with a contact sensor connected to a bomb, any instant if you're not careful, you'll die. I... will somehow lose the willness. Not like you.

It made me wonder... It made me think... It made me determined...

I also want to have such a faith in my God.

If I am told to carry SLE, to be honest, I doubt I can be as strong as you. I salute you. And yes, in this Christmas, I wish for God's healing upon you. May you be healed, and continue to serve the Lord with trembling and joy.

I...

am encouraged by you too. Get well soon. Never forget that He is our Healer. Be strong, continue to be strong! He is our source of strength. God is with us, always. Yea, even crossing through the thorny fields, there's only signs of a pair of footsteps - not ours, but God. Someone ever said, if God brings you into a hard time, He will carry you through it.

Such a Christmas wish from me, I guess it's at least the support a brother-in-Christ like me should give.

See you, soon enough. =)

And jia you.

You know who you are =)

One Year Old =)

..::*+ Small Talk +*::..

Qi Hao so happy today, that he played and sang a song =)

Acoustic - Came To My Rescue

*Inspiration* yea yea!

*ok my voice is ugly, I know >.< 

**********************************

Exactly a year ago, he confessed that he'll follow Him.

Oh Lord, it has been a year, no? It has been a year since my first journey with You. Yes, my life maybe would be happier without You. I would have been living a life rejecting You. I would have been a bad-boy doing just like the others do. I could have now with colorful hairs and pierces across my ears, nose, foreheads… everything, just like trends of today. I would have chasing after earthly matters, such as gold, beautiful girlfriends, flirting around… They sound so nice, no?

 

But I chose to follow You, Jesus. I chose to give up all the crazy stuffs that I’ve been doing before I chose to acknowledge You as my savior. It wasn’t easy to talk to You for the first time. But I guess every ‘first time’ is very worrying, because I don’t have experience in it. But Lord, Thank You Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit for knocking at my doorstep. This journey, until now, was indeed more tears than joy. But I’m happy that I’ve secured Your grace in me. For on the 23rd December, my life changed, turned into new, resurrected from the old past, and married to You. What else could be meaningful other than securing an unfailing love in me? A girlfriend’s love? Definitely not. I thank You Lord for Your love.

 

I confessed that I’ve been doing things that disappoint You. I admitted that a lot of times I forgot about You – ignoring my morning meetings with You, doing things on my own strength, moving chesspieces across the board without knowing that I’m going for a self-distruction – but Lord, Your gentle hands are still holding me in Your breast, despite the wildness and rebellious heart of mine. Even though You’re most of the time hurt by my attitude, although I neglected our relationship with You, even though I cast you aside in many situations, although I disobey Your Words and calling, and signs and forcing things to go on my own ways,

 

Still You always forgive with a gentle smile, if only I ask.

 

A year of experiencing You was indeed interesting. Sometimes I prayed to You very hard, talked to You very emotionally about my life, tears… Yet You stood aside in somewhere, silent. And all You gave me was just Psalms 46:10, but Lord, all of the silence from You really mean a lot. You don’t just silent; You waited for the perfect timing to get me out of the complicate situation. You’re like Anti-lock Braking System (ABS) in cars nowadays – You braked me from going straight into accident. Therefore Lord, although there’re things that I do not understand today, but You’ve proved to me that You let me know tomorrow, or day after tomorrow… someday, but surely one day, when the timing is perfect. Therefore Lord, I’m always amazed by Your timing – it' just couldn’t get anywhere better than Your plan.

 

For the sake of growing up, You expressed Your love by hurting me, breaking me apart, tearing me down, pushing me down into the deep sea. Not because You want to drown me; You know I’ll not drowned, and I know that too, because of Your promise in me. You pushed me down into the deep sea, so that I could swim back to You, and serve You with trembling heart. I know, all the tears from Your merciful eyes as You watched me suffering in the downfall situations. You cried in pain as You watched me crying out loud for all the emotional situations. But for the sake to change me to be more Christ-like, You forced Yourself to be the bad guy and sacrifice the Almighty-God-sitting-far-far-high-high-somewhere-above property of Yours and came down to me. Thank You for taking me together with You throughout this first year.

 

Your love will always follow me, and Lord, I thank You for the cross. A year since I followed You, and despite all the sadness, I rejoice in You! For I know the promises You have for me, You’re the One Way of my life. Let us draw closer to each other, oh Lord. Let me understand You more and more. And Lord, how great are You!

 

Today, I celebrate my love for You. Thank You for saving me, God =)

 

A toast for You, thank You! Happy Birthday, Qi Hao =)

Come Back Please? – The Last Goodbye

It was just another day when he is not doing what he supposed to do. Instead he sits in a corner of the library all alone, figuring about how to change the layout of this blog that you’re reading. I want to change to something new, he thought. But as he is half way repairing the mess and damages he done to his blog, the little brother’s Messenger conversation box comes.

Anyone informed you yet? Sure don’t know yet.

Huh?

Grandma passed away around 12.20-12.30pm (GMT+8). A bit sudden, she started to breath heavily, then after a while the breathing slowed down. Then…

He couldn’t take it in. He was sort of tensed because of the mess he had done, and yet the last thing that he want to hear that time came to him. It was like giving a rabbit to eat meat – the rabbit stomps the ground to show protest.

What else can I say?

Don’t know. Just pray for her lor (* ‘lor’ is just an expression in Malaysia)… Remember a… No more CNY (Chinese New Year).

He is left stunned. His mind wondered into a dark blank space. His head is flooded with blood. Headache came. For some time, he don’t feel the urge to cry. Maybe because I’ve at least prepared an umbrella, although there are some holes on it, he thought. But the reason could be also the so-far-away distance where he didn’t see her face with his weakened eye.

He couldn’t continue on on what he was doing. The books, the papers, the drafts, physics lab report… are scattered on the table. So he let his mind going around as it will…

He sees his grandmother’s face – but much younger. She was sitting at one corner of the house with her ace-shaped rattan fan. he came into the house, and walked straightly towards her to get what every child liked – ang pau (red packet). He did what his parents told and rehearsed with him before they came.

Remember, get the packet with two hand. And remember to say ‘thank you’.

His grandmother gave him a warmth smile, and asked the him and his family to go to the kitchen to get something to eat – the best food of all time – grandmother’s cooking. Her cooking was so delicious that all the grandchildren loved it. He remembered once that while he was drinking the so-called “grandmother’s soup”, he asked her how she could cook so well, and all she answered was ‘just put in everything and cook like normal’. Maybe that was a skill that took her so long to master, just like all the kung fu masters were all white haired and long beard. The best food ever, and it’s free! What else could be more better than this? A satisfied smile.

He then remembered the routine that he had always done last time. Because his aunty stayed at grandmother’s house, his father had to send her back from the pottery factory that owned by his grandfather. So every time he would sneak into this opportunity to follow the ride to grandmother’s house in a white mini lorry, just to get Kopi-O sweets from his grandmother. The ride that took 20 minutes always seemed nothing compare to the satisfaction that he had by getting a sweet from his grandmother, not to mention the chance to jump into the shallow pond to play around with the tadpoles and frogs. Remember the pond with frogs? The sweetest memory was that when he learned that frogs are amphibians, he thought that the babies should also be the same. So, he caught a big plastic amount of tadpoles, and poured them to a flat cement ground. The tadpoles struggled, and died a while later. He was of course, being scolded, not because of the dead tadpoles, but the mess he made around the nicely maintained pond – the bricks were untidy, the rocks were misplaced, and the fishes were scared and hid in a small dark corner. He cried, and of course, but he was comforted by his grandmother…

The reality suddenly stroked him. Hey, your beloved grandmother is gone. But that’s not all, he is not even sure where his grandmother will go – heaven? Hell? Her heaven is my hell? Something that he really felt sad about. No more Gloria to secure him where she is. It’s sad that she cannot go where I will go in the future, he sighed.

He suddenly remembered the verse Jeremiah 29:11:

‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’

Plans? ‘Someone who is close to you die and you know even know where she’s going’ is a plan from You? He somehow, a thought came into his mind, “look for the bright side in this happening. It did not just happened.”

At first he thought that he is coming to an dead end. But after a deeper thoughts, he gets something. Indeed the Vetos asked him not to go back, but if he says he don’t feel sorry for not going back, he’s obviously lying – not just to people around, God, but he himself as well. When the decision was indeed hard to make, and the influences from surroundings were strong. Instead of turning left or right at a T-junction, God provided a way – to go straight, go beyond the T to form a Cross. Jesus died on the cross to provide us a new way. He learned that this God is indeed a real God. This God took away the complicate that he was facing. Just when he wasn’t sure which chess piece to move, God showed him the move. What would happen if God just let him handle things that he couldn’t handle? Definitely would he had gone crazy. Feeling down, emo, sad, disappointment, failures… He would take all his pain away from him.

Once again he was amazed by God’s power of love and grace. He indeed moved the pieces on his own to checkmate the problems in his life, and only seek Him when he faced dead end, but this God although might be angry or disappointed in him, His hands are still warm every time He pulls him out of the dead-lock situation. Just when series of unpleasant happenings comes, this God really never let him deal with all those things with his very bare hands. His hands are there. Always. For him. It’s just that, how many times does he want to ignore the comfort offer and chase around the loop for something insecure? How many times he needs to trying things on his own without practicing His Words in Psalms 46:10?

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

The last goodbye that he never had the chance to bid. Somewhere, some time, He guesses… I guess.

Christmas isn’t Christmas, till it happens in your heart. Remember, my friends.

Breathe Me by Sia

First and foremost, credits to the owner of the picture.

It's just a virtual. The synchronisation was an illusion. Elika was dead before he knew it. The prince did his best and cut down the Tree of Life, beared all the consequences, just to carry her in his arm. But... Maybe he didn't know anything. Or he knows it now but remained silence? Or she remained silence? Wait the second series ba... Or should there even the 2nd series?

Ermm. Thank you for the honesty.

All because this missing piece, the chessboard turned total chaos and confusion, but now it's completed. The jigsaw is ugly, but that's how it is.

He.. lost the important bidding today. It proved that the sync is not there. 

His Elika never existed.

---

Title: Breathe Me

By: Sia

Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

Hurt myself again today

And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

I'm needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again

Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,

Yeah I think that I might break

I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

I'm needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

Be my friend

Hold me, wrap me up

Unfold me

I am small

I'm needy

Warm me up

And breathe me

---

feel like giving up the flash thing too ='(

Snowing help

I'm proud of myself today.

Added snowing effect on my own - played with html codes for whole night. The effect behind is using flash. 

This is the script for the motion:

Flash Wanted

Tools that I've used:

1. Adobe Dreamweaver CS3

2. Adobe Photoshop CS3

3. Macromedia Flash MX

4. Picasa 3

Referred websites:

1. Setting flash content in blogspot

2. Making the flash position fixed

3. Making Flash with transparent background

4. Click-through issue

I'm still facing the 4th part problem. The page you're viewing now, the snows are at behind the "content". If I insist to put it in front, we can't click through the snow, meaning it'll be a "read-only" dead page. My Canon will not sing either. With one exception: It works in Internet Explorer (of all the browsers =.=").

I'll try to alternate the div settings some other time to make it work.

Perhaps I should go into programming languages. @,@

Life is perhaps easy when all you need to do is to copy and paste other people's work into a html/javascript gadget, eh? I want to make my life hard. Haha. Yea yea, stubborn block head, I know. But I guess I'll learn more through the hard way. Maybe it's better to be independent than to, haha, leech on others. It opened a bigger eyesight for me, to explore the max-usage of blogspot =)

fan of flash =)

fan of arts =)

fan of technologies =)

fan of effects =)

fan of games (hu hu, Prince of Persia is really nice)

Oh, ermmm.. I created a googlegroup specially to make my blog function. Do pay visit there ya, although it's nothing there other than my-blogspot-supporting stuffs, for example, this lala.swf is my snow effect. Been lazy to rename it. LoL.

Oh yea, how to disable the "adult content" thing when you click? fyi, http://ultimatepichu.blogspot.com heavily against those thingy. This applies to my googlegroup too.

So as summary, these are my questions:

1. Clicking through a transparent flash (or any other workaround but with flash)

2. Removing "adult content" at my googlegroup.

Would be glad if anyone help me. Here's the source code of my blog, in case anyone interested:

xml content

Both are the same, just that one is in xml format and another is in txt.

Cheers,

Vincent