Thursday, May 10, 2007

Carry me OUT, just like how you carry me IN

Credits to Peter, for his approval to let me copy this from his blog, & the original writer(s) of this wonderful story.


On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Manchester United, You're the BEST!

Yay, just watched Arsenal vs Chelsea just now. Well, they drawed, which means Manchester United won the Premiership title. Haha.. We went to Cemara Block 3, which is suppose to be the girls' block, but haha, don't care la. So we watched the match. So the egg-cracking goal came from Gilberto Silva's leg, for a low left corner ( Cech's view) struck, after Arsenal was given a penalty kick, foul by Boulahrouz. Quoted from BBC Sports:

It was the first time Boularouz had played for Chelsea since 17 March and his lack of match practice was evident as he allowed Baptista to nip ahead of him.

Boularouz compounded his error by scything down the Brazilian from behind, in the process earning himself a red card.


Wow! So there goes, one man down, and so the tension raised. First half score line: Arsenal 1-0 Chelsea.

Then came 2 girls into the TV room, one carrying a laptop. They said they want to use the room. Watch TV =.=¿ (Arsenal vs Chelsea??!) Because we're so kind, as gentlemen we LET them use it. Fine, then we "migrate" to another block, Cemara Block 2, which is ALSO girls' block to watch. What to do, guys' block no Astro.

2nd half started with pressures from Chelsea. Everyone was doing their best to get back to the scoreline. After lots of attempts, finally Shaun Wright-Phillips made a wonderful cross and met Essien's head, flicking the ball passed through the great Jens Lehmann's hands. So there goes, 1-1 liaw. So both sides making a lot more attempts, Adebayor's attempts, Lampard's, Joe Cole's. Everyone was doing their best. I feel so excited when watching it.

Well, tension raised dramatically when Van Persie challenged Lampard, who dodged it in the nick of time. So John Terry was very beh song and went to talk to him. Then refree came to settle everything. Luckily no card was shown. So the match ended with the score 1-1.

But hey, i like how Jose Mourinho reacted after the game. Although it was not on his stadium, but he walked around and cheered the fans. He asked them not to be sad, but respect the players, who fought so well, although they lost. I liked the scene when everyone clapping their hands and paying respects to Chelsea.

Well, it's sad to see Chelsea lost, although I'm a ManUtd fan. But however, a lost is a lost. A lot reactions from 3 of us, who supported ManUtd (who else =P), Chelsea (Elyas) and Arsenal (Daniel).

Wow, so late already.

And oh ya, after we watched we came out, got caught by a Residential Officer. I was questioned for hanging around at girls' block:

RO: where were you just now?
me: (pointing to the TV room) We were at the TV room watching football.
RO: you know you're not suppose to be there?
me: We're just watching football what. If not? I mean, we can only watch here what... (I'm frustrated)
RO: It's a girls' block you know.
He looked up the whole laman, empty, without lights. The Korean students who were supposed to live there had left. I'm like, yea. I go up and rape the ghost, I'm a psycho, who want to smell the scent of women. Dumb, get real, stupid.
RO: Don't do this again next time. Don't like me catch you.
me: Okie. ( like i care! dumb! give the guys' blocks Astros la!)
So we walked away. The RO was so stupid. Duh! Why got such a smart-ass person?

Never mind.




Spoil my mood only. Glory glory Man United!


vincent

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Now tell me, what love is?

These quotes are from various sources from the internet. Credits are, of course, go to the original person who wrote it/them.



"Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall."

"Loving someone that doesn't love you is like reaching for a star. You know you'll never reach it, but you just got to keep trying. The sweetest moment is when the star falls right into your arms."

" Once you accept someone for who and what they really are, they will surprise you by being better than you ever expected. LOVE is loving/accepting a person with all his/her strength and weaknesses."

"When two friends fall in love they learn they are meant for each other. When they fall out of love they realize they want to keep each other forever."

"Find time to realize that there is one person who mean so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you."

"Love is seeing yourself through someone's eyes and finding yourself in somebody's heart."

"Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever."

"A ring is a circle, no beginning, neither it ends. It keeps us together in the circle of love. But the treasure inside, for you to see, is the treasure of love you given to me."

"True love doesn't have a happy ending, that's because true love doesn't have an ending."

"It breaks your heart to see the one that you love is happy with someone else... but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you."

"Love is a beautiful experience that only comes to those who understand how to share and not use. True love is not obsession or desire. It is much deeper then that. Most people confuse love and desire so they loose themselves in that and never even know that they are not in love. When you start a loving relationship or have had several loving relationships you don't mind loosing the one you love if you know it's best for him or her. You care so much and feel a great sense of peace."

"Love is deep and simple. Love is self-less, not selfish. Love is fair but sacrifices. These are basic things about love. True love comes to those who understand that everyone is equal but different. Loving someone is like wanting to make some one feel great without doing it just so that person stays with you. You want to share life with the other person whenever possible."

"Finding love is possible when you understand what love is and you move by sharing and not using. This might seem like something only an angel of God could do but you can do it too if you want to be in love, fall in it or find it. You must learn that everyone is equal but different. Everyone deserves fair treatment. You must learn to love your friends in the same way you love your life partner (without perversions). Love is a real experience that comes to everyone not just human beings. SERIOUSLY. When you slowly move with respect, fairness and compassion towards all, you will live with great peace of mind and radiate love that you can later share with anyone."

"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

“I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do. I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you.”

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”


"Loving someone means you will put him/her in front of everything (err.. below God, of course), that you are willing to sacrifice everything to protect the person even if it costs your life. If you are ready to do so, you may present your ring to that person."



vincent

Friday, May 04, 2007

[E] Last Lecture Class

Wow! Time flies, don't they. Yesterday was my last lecture class at INTEC, UiTM. That was really fast. Two years back then, I'm still a person who was naive and immature compare to the present me. It was indeed very sad, as my next meeting with my friends (especially the Malays) will be in Chemistry Practical Lab for A-Level Chemistry Paper 3A. These are some of the pictures that we took after our 'last' lecture. ('last' because we skipped German class and I heard Frau Brigitte was very mad xD)
Squeeze up! Closer!

Formal picture ( I'm at middle leh..)

What are we looking at?
(answer= the door)

Do whatever you wan.. Me and Moji punching Jing Xin =D In fact Wawa also bullying Jing Xin. Haha!

Behold! This is our very 'responsible' class rep. Haha!

Steady and formal having a big family picture =P

Well, actually still have some pictures more from other classmates. Oh ya, the sad thing was Ibrahim and Hafiz Daud were not here. haiz.. Absent leh. Well, what to do? Exam coming.. I hope I can score well..


vincent

Edited: (6th May 2007)

Got another picture, grabbed from Jing Xin. Why they all din give me =.=¿ anyway, everyone different posing eh? haha..


Vincent

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Spider Man 3

"presenting our friendly neighborhood- Spiderman~"
Wow! Yeah, Spiderman 3 -- I've watched, 3 hours ago. Haha! So free to blog it directly? Nah, just happy to tell you that I've watched. I rate it 4.75/5. Haha! the -0.25 is for the dumbness of Peter Parker. =D Yaya. He looked so the blurr in everything. Err.. I don't want to write the story line out, you go find out yourself. But I tell you, it's one of the worth-to-watch movies this year! Haha! Anyway, go out and watch! Enjoy~! =D


Spidy spidy, sitting on the tower, crying, as the rain falls. Why? Hehe =)

Pure Spidy outfit, haven't contaminated yet..



Haha, anyway, I caught some picture of a kid in Spiderman costume (more or less). Sorry the quality was blurr, because we're walking at that time. And my phone's picture quality you-know-how>.< Venom-Spiderman VS ???!


I'm Spiderman!!! Rawz!

I watched the movie here.


Well, you all go watch, ya! Nice o~


vincent

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

理想情人 - 杨丞琳


穿上洋装看着手表
时间快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次约会来临了
金色的阳光洒满人行道
换了新唇膏把头发弄好
要你看到我的好


喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神

温柔的表情笑容里的天真

我相信 找不到有比你更好的人

你心里
理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份



好想知道你的100分
会给怎样的人
亲爱的你 不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等
朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准
不要让我一直等



喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神

温柔的表情笑容里的天真

我相信 找不到有比你更好的人

你心里
理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份


好想知道你的100分
会给怎样的人
亲爱的你 不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等
朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准
不要我一直等


听着那时间滴答的走
对街的你在点头

好像一个梦渐渐走到我前头


好想知道你的100分 会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等 朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准 不要让我一直等

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Sunday Market

Last sunday I went to Sunday Market near Rubber Road(not sure the place call what). Haha.. so long din go there already. So, I decided to snap some photos to share share =D promoting Sarawak (konon!)

So this is the entrance.

Here got sell fish. Eh, don't play play eh, some of the fish are really big, you know. = o

" Seaweed!" The seller keep on shouting.

Chicken feet say "HI~!"

Sugar cane machine. They used this to 'kemek' the sugar cane so that can collect the juice.

Ikan Bilis. Quite big.

Vegetables... Duh.. of course.

Animals =D These rabbits cute leh~ ^^v

woodcrafts.. Looks kinda scary...

Girls' stuffs. @.@ Everywhere also got la~

Clothings. Macam-macam ada. Kinda cheap also.

Fish~ Don't ask the name. I don't know.

Stickers!! Naruto here. Cute? =)

Fruits also got. But I saw a lot of grapes. Now season meh?

Popcorns.. Selling at here..

Flowers flowers.. Nice?

Eggs.. haha. but not really cheap la.. normal price nia.

We also got balloons selling at here.. =D

Wow... What he is doing? Any idea??

Tadaa~ 油条.. Malay made de.. Not nice.. Soooo small piece..









"DiGi's WIDEST coverage Always with you." Get real, last night i can't send out sms =.=¿

Actually got lots more things selling at here. Can't snap all la. The camera already low battery that time. Compare here to Shah Alam's every monday, Shah Alam needs more improvements. Haha. Anyway, That's all for now. =D Don't know when will be the next time I visit here again? sigh sigh.

vincent